18 December 2012

A Conversation

Jackie: Daddy, I want to be King of England!
Dad: You do?
Jackie: Yes! (Pause.) How many people do you think would have to die before I was next in line to the throne? (Said knowing full well that I have no English ancestry whatsoever.)
Dad: Oh, one or two.

17 December 2012

Despite My Complaints

Despite all my complaining about the stupid way that BC is run, at least there privately owned liquor/beer stores. I think i've blogged about it before, but, still...an aspect of normalcy that Ontario is lacking!

Stupidest Name for a Dog (or anything) Ever

Rin Tin Tin.

19 November 2012

dock

my dad let the dog out to pee and went down to the dock. he told me to go walk down because the reflection of the sky in the water made it feel like you're standing in the middle of the sky. so i went out, and sure enough, the moon and clouds and stars were all around me. pretty cool.

14 November 2012

Mountain tops getting cold

Went hiking on the weekend with my folks and my dog. It was rough because i was semi-sick. By semi-sick I mean that I felt myself getting tired and weak and my nose hurt. So one day I went for a run (which was brutal, I had to power walk half of it because I kept getting dizzy) and the next day I went out for said hike. I figured that if I kept pushing myself, it would keep getting sick at bay (so far, it seems totally gone). Of course it always works in theory. Once We had been out for 45 minutes and were steadily walking uphill (by hill I mean mountain) for the majority of that time, I couldn't breathe because I was so congested. Not helping were the facts that whenever it's chilly outside my nose gets runny anyway, and that the higher we climbed the thinner the air got. So I was pretty far behind them (not b/c I was sick, because the dog is getting old! I swear!) (That was a lie, even the dog was way ahead of me) and breathing through my mouth, and making it harder to breathe because instead of catching my breath I kept complaining and whining about how my temperature kept rising more than it should or how tired I was getting. I was probably starting to piss them off a bit. Anyway, then the path levelled out a little bit and suddenly everything around us was frosty. The ground had a layer of frost (not really snow, but frost) about 3 inches thick; the branches were white; all the leaves on the plants around us had a layer of frost, but just around the edges, so everything looked like Christmas decorations with that spray-on-plastic-snow stuff. It was so beautiful and cool and serene.

Of course we didn't know which way to go down and had to climb further uphill for a while so my whining and complaining started right up again (sorry, guys!) but in that moment, it made it all worth while.

And in a moment of truth, I actually miss, not Toronto, but Oakville. (Toronto too.) Both cities are so beautiful. There's something about Oakville downtown and in my folk's neighbourhood that is so beautiful in the winter. I love all the christmas lights, and the tree and lights downtown Oakville are so nice, you feel so festive walking around the shops. And in Toronto, Yorkville is like that, too. I'm sure Vancouver will be like that, too, in places. No pretty snow though! Anyway, first admission to liking Oakville. Don't tell anyone!

03 November 2012

surgery

was posting a comment on julie's blog, talking about being put under in surgery. reminded me, i don't think i ever remembered to tell you all that i woke up during my hand surgery. maybe i did but it's been so long. anyway, the story is just that after i woke up the doctor's like "do you remember waking up at all?" and i'm like "huh..what...uh...*groggy groggy* nope." she's all "okay, well that's a good sign. you're on a lot of medication right now though, so let us know if that changes." (it didn't) essentially i had sat straight up in the middle of my surgery and given the doctors a heart attack. no warning or anything. just sat about half way up and i guess i didn't get all the way up because of the tubes and things and someone probably caught me. isn't that weird, though? don't you expect someone to slowly wake up and start looking around or moving their arms even? i knew i was crazy. anyway, so that's the story. if i'm ever in some kind of crazy accident around you, tell the doctor's to knock me out super well before doing anything to me!

waiting

wait wait wait. wait wait wait. almost enough snow for ski season to start. wait wait wait. i'm very impatient. now that i live in mountain land i'm like "TAKE ME SKIING NOW!" whistler opens sooooon! the mountain behind my house is much smaller but obv much closer. they were about to open but then the weather got warm again. so..back to wait wait waiting. I can't believe i live 2 hours away from whistler. that is so cool. BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH you ontarians, you're all soooo jealous, aren't you.

18 October 2012

peculiarities

I've always enjoyed the sensation of drinking a cool beverage from a warm glass. Like when you pull a cup out of the dishwasher that's still pretty hot and pour juice or water into it and when you drink it then it feels warm but you're drinking something cold. Weird, i know.

10 October 2012

bc sux0rz

Things to hate about BC
-there's no provincial environmental laws except what the federal govn't requires. Thus, storm drains lead to streams that are environmental projects http://bc.ctvnews.ca/pool-water-dumped-into-drain-blamed-for-dead-fish-1.984642, water sanitation doesn't happen, waste is dumped into the ocean after only being treated at one plant (the only province that can't be bothered to clean their poo)(Every other province treats black waste 3-4 times) pretty much all the lumber has been sold to chinese, which means bc actually doesn't own much of their own land either. they have this great chunk of land, and can't take care of it.
-everyone here thinks ontarians are full of themselves. well i wasn't until i moved here. the corporate, capitalist, every man for himself, small town usa mind set can be a little overwhelming. the only thing i used to diss bc about was luongo. so if everyone hates me for being from ontario, but dentists are so happy to see me 'cause i've got nice teeth, even tho i havent been to a dentist in 2+ years, you know something is up. they're all "oooh ontario's fluoride in the tapwater, oooh ontario teeth, ooh this is so nice, your teeth are beautiful!" and i'm like "shouldnt you be yelling at me now about how i don't floss??" how bad are bc people's teeth?? am i going to start getting cavities just for moving here? hey can you guys start sending me bottled tap water in the mail??
-what's with all the pine trees here? where's my fall colours? there's one season that I like and bc kills it? (summer too hot, winter too cold, spring has too many bugs, fall has halloween)
-rain! well i haven't seen any yet but today is foggy and apparently the rains are coming, i have been assured.
-beef with beef. why the hell, albertans, would you feed grass to your beefs? it tastes like crap that way! back in ontario, where we don't care about the health of the beefs (they're about to die for food anyway) or the health of ourselves (meh!) we feed our cattle corn. and they taste great. grass is for bison, corn is for roast beast.
-the chicken is good here tho. i bet they eat corn.
-the canucks
-who the hell doesn't have a ML baseball team???
-wtf is up with the liquor prices????
-gas prices are nuts too. isn't there oil just north of here and just east of here? shoulnt it be cheaper than ontario gas which is shipped farther?
-can't drive on the highway without my ears popping and plugging up on every hill aka mountain


so there you go, guys. i hope this makes up for the seals and ocean kayaking and mountains and whales and skiing....so next time you get pissed when i send you a nice photo, just think "oh yah, well you're going to have cavities one day, b*tch!"



03 October 2012

Bear Poop (A Poem)

Beyond the little tiny lawn,
the patch of grass that lies upon
the rocky beach,
where the rocks stretch further
out and then they meet the water,
in between the shells and sand
is nestled a dollop of poop a mother found.

She did not know, when first she went
online to check the poop and paw print
what it would mean,
or how devastating it would be
to her lovely family.
She had a little dog, you see,
and a super duper daughter, me.

They had a lovely little house
in a cove nearby to Grouse
where black bears like to roam
(for it is also their home)
and sometimes get too close to humans
and poop right there among the cumins
(or an herb that's actually native to Canada).

Every day, the previously mentioned dog
would run around outside and hog
the patches of sunlight on the grass.
The girl would soon come park her ass
beside her faithful pet, and there
the two would spend their day,
and sit and doze and stretch and play.

They went exploring, dog and girl,
For they loved their sunny world,
to smell and sniff and watch the sea,
scratch the ground and catch the breeze.
Every day they sat outside
And then one day to their surprise
a bear came and ate them.


Well what do you want, a description? You're a horrible, sick person.

Of course, the mother was extremely sad
and said that she was going mad
so the father went and bought her
a Ruger No. 1 Varminter K1-V-BBZ.
Needless to say that never more
was bear poo found upon the shore
of Deep Cove, in North Vancouver.

24 September 2012

Deep Cove: Kayaking

Today I hopped into my kayak. This may sound like no big deal to you, but let me tell you how mistaken you are. There are three ways to get into a kayak. One is to stand in shallow water, hold your oars across the seat for balance, and get in. The second is to get in on shore and have someone drag you into the water. The third is to throw your oars onto the back landing of the big boat that is tied to the dock, chuck the kayak into the water, draw it parallel to the boat, hop onto the boat, crouch down, put one hand on the back of the boat and one on the far side of the kayak seat, place both feet into the kayak, swing into it before you flip it over, grab your oars and off you go. So now you're thinking options one and two are the obvious answers. You are so wrong. Remember I live on the ocean rather than the lake. This means the tide goes in and out. This means that the dock is very very long. Part of the day, the tide is in and at the wall separating the ocean from my lawn. The rest of the day, the tide is probably 100m out. So in order to have the dock in the water all the time, there's a very long walkway between the lawn and the dock. Remember now that this is me we are considering. I look at options one and two and immediately think: "do i really want to drag the kayak ALL THE WAY to shore?" Obviously not! So i proceed to leap on the boat. The first few attempts at this maneuver, which will hereafter be referred to as "Operation Get in the Kayak," or "OGK," are quite difficult. Once you are on step "hold the boat with one hand, the kayak with the other, and put your feet in," you very quickly notice that the boat and the kayak are bobbing at different times, which throws your balance off (Or at least it does for land lubbers like me). Next, you realize that every time you try shifting your weight to your feet from your bottom (which is safely seated on the back of the boat) the kayak wobbles and threatens to toss you overboard. The secret to OGK is to keep your weight on your arms because they are holding you steady and the boats together. Then you shift your bottom from the boat down into the kayak as quickly as possible, because any hesitation results in more kayak bouncing and more time to panic. In fact, I almost named it "Operation Throw Yourself into the Kayak Before You Hesitate too Much and Throw Yourself Into the Water Instead," but that seemed a little excessive.

On with the story! Where was I? Oh yes, so today I hopped into my kayak. Technically the landlady's Kayak, but Margie is very nice and lets us use it at whim. The water below me (at the boat I was now alongside) was probably 6-10 feet deep. But perfectly clear! I decided at first to row myself under the dock walkways alongside the shore of the cove, for due to the tide fluctuations they are built very high up. As a rowed myself along I admired the underwater life. Most of the water and beaches here are rocky, and I admired the different colours of the smooth stones. The world below me was calm and golden from the sunlight. I passed over top of starfish, stretching themselves out in the warm shallow water. Little crabs scuttled about, and some bigger ones lay upside down, quite dead, their hard white bellies standing out from the rocks.I missed Dave the seal on this ride, though, probably because I started through the shallows rather than heading straight across the water as I usually do.

I went passed the marina at the end of the cove, and the water was deep. There was only one person at the gas station. I suppose it will be much quieter now without the summer tourists and vacationers. I turned left to head up Indian Arm, where some seagulls perched on floating logs. One of them started squawking at me and I nearly splashed it, but the boat guy from the marina was coming up behind me now and I didn't want him to think poorly of me. So the jerk seagull got away with his rude behaviour. Around this time I realized how deep the water must be. The arm is a 22km long fjord that gets quite deep (hence the cove's name), and I was probably on top of 500 feet of water. Remember, lake Ontario at its deepest point is just over 700 feet, and most of this area, much smaller, is over 600 feet at many points. Here the water is grey and blue and green and brown reflecting the sky and trees and mountains. But when I look directly down the water is so inky black I cannot imagine what might be lurking in. I started moving a little faster to avoid sea monsters. I calmed down a little closer to Raccoon isl when a seal poked its nose up to investigate me. I laughed as it played, then turned for home. The rest of the trip was lovely, I admired all the beautiful scenery and fresh air. I was almost alone on the water, excepting one motor boat that passed me and a tour boat far far in the distance. I went quickly at some places, testing myself and working on technique, and slowing when my arms tired, looking around me at the crazy cliffs and wondering who decided to build houses on them, having to go up and down six flights of stairs between the water and their houses.

On my return I still did not splash the seagull. I didn't want to get the wrong one. Finally I made my way home, completed OGOK (Operation Get Out of Kayak) (pretty easy, actually, I'm getting good at this), and resumed my lame-ass-getting-nowhere job hunt.

JULIE HAS A JOB!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY SWEET DEALIO!!!!!!!

Also, since you found work, I haven't seen any updates on your blog. Are they working you too hard?

Also, I WANT A JOB, TOO!!!! So keep wishing good luck at me!

How Disney has Ruined My Outlook on Life

Well, I'm 26 with no Prince Charming. This leaves several options.
1) I just haven't found him yet.
2) Really, I'm getting a little old. All Disney Princesses are in their teens, MAYBE 20's. I'm running out of finding Prince charming time. I'll be the old maid fairy godmother to the girls in my family.
3) It's too late! No happily ever after for me! I'm just not Disney Princess material! SOB! I fail at life!
4) Let's face it. I'm bound to be the evil stepmother, embittered by my loneliness.
5) I have to put matters into my own hands. Get out there, put my very life in peril--threatened by a heartless human--and lo! Prince Charming will come to my rescue!
6) Maybe I had it already, but due to my unwillingness to change my annoying personality, he vamoosed.
Thus, Disney has ruined my outlook on love (or at least my chances for it.)

Next, I have issues with the reality of nature. Watch a cat playing with it's prey, or an orca throwing a seal around for fun before eating it. A Komodo will poison a large animal and stalk it for days and days as it dies slowly, watching the Komodo watching it, knowing it's fate, until it can't move anymore and is slowly eaten. What the hell, man?! Only humans are supposed to torture animals! Not other animals! How do I deal with this? Way to lie, Disney!

What? Fairies aren't real??

More often than not, the bad guy actually wins in real life. (Hey! Maybe I SHOULD be an evil stepmother!) I realize that one person can actually make a difference, but rarely do people stand up for what they believe in. Disney doesn't show how power and influence prevail, or how people just don't care enough to do anything. All my life I thought I would meet heroes, or be one. instead, I got too comfortable, just like everyone else. Plus, I want a job with CSIS, and they won't hire you if you've been involved in political action or public protests. What the hell?! Do I keep sitting around hoping for an interview, for my dream job? And maybe one day I'll get it, and make a difference through my job? Or do I say that's bull, I'm going to get involved in things now? Disney never covered that. The right answers in Disney are always so easy.

Also, I can't understand animals when they talk.






23 September 2012

Nice!

Looking at my last post, I guess I finally found the option to make new paragraph breaks! yay!

The Perfect Man (is in my mind)

These are the traits that make a perfect man:

-He wants to spend his life with me. No questions, no 'I'm not sure how I'll feel in the future,' just surety. Obv the perfect man wouldn't settle for any woman OTHER than me. Duh.
- Blue eyes. Or asian.
-5'10-6'4.
-Lean muscles. I don't like muscle men. Gross. Too much for me. But I do like to see every muscle bend and move. The Perfect Man has one of those statuesque figures that make me drool. Hockey players to soccer players to lacrosse to martial arts type figure.
-Minimal nasty body hair!! The P.M. is either naturally hairless or manscapes.
-Perfect teeth. The P.M. has probably worn braces.
-Dimples. I don't know what it is, but I melt.
-Smooth skin. Not feminine, rough hands is okay, but no dry hands or elbows etc.
-No facial hair. When we kiss, I don't want to catch your leftover dinner.
-Ph.D.
-Comes from money (what?! We're talking PERFECT here, as in IDEAL. as the title says, it's in my head.)
-Showers me with gifts. That doesn't mean money, he could pick me flowers on his way over, or write me a love letter.
-Always tells me how great I am. "I love your laugh" "You're so clever" "beautiful" etc. I have no self confidence and need to hear it.
-Since I'm totally fantasizing now, how 'bout an accent? I like Irish, Scottish...
-fluent in several languages.
-Adventurer. I want someone to travel the world with.
-Likes dogs over cats.
-Dresses well (no gangsta crap)
-good hygiene
-very patient with my antics
-will read me stories
-thinks I'm funny
-Makes me laugh and cry and have fun and be me.
-Brings out the best in me.
-Can talk to for hours
-Can sit without talking for hours.
-Not a fighter, but will fight for me.
-Good debates
-Gives me butterflies in my stomach
-Treats me like I'm important.
-Holds me when I'm sick, even though he might get sick too.
-Lets me dote on him.
-Doesn't do my laundry (aka then my nice stuff won't shrink.)
-Kills spiders.
-Thinks I'm beautiful even when I cry or have a cold and my face is swollen.
-When it comes to engagement, believes that Cartier is right: love has a colour and a name. =D






Book Review-"A World Without Ice"

"A World Without Ice" by Henry Pollack PhD. http://www.worldwithoutice.com/ Bad: He says cow farts release CO2 into the atmosphere. This is a myth. It is actually cow burps. Any other mistakes I can't pinpoint. Too sciencey. But he didn't say anything I haven't heard before, rather he explains things and how everything works; so I think the rest is good. Good: He covers pretty much everything you need to know about icemelt and the impact of global warming on the environment. Some of it is dry, but mostly pretty good reading. It's targeted at people who don't know the science, summarizing various studies made worldwide, arguments against global warming, why they're bull, and where we stand now. It's pretty bleak. But something we can't ignore. I think it could have benefitted from more maps. He mentions passages ships take and it would have been nice to see them marked. Overall I enjoyed it, learned a lot. Couldn't do it in one sitting though, after a few chapters it felt too textbookish. I liked how he covered everything from history to geography to biology to politics. I do recommend this book to anyone who isn't knowledgable in environmental sciences and wants to know more about how the planet is changing.

09 September 2012

Husband

Dear future idiot who actually marries me, make sure I no longer have a facebook wishlist. you'll be poor. <3 Jackie

07 September 2012

Deep Cove

Finally starting to get settled in. Vancouver is a little boring from a city perspective. It takes a long time to get anywhere, nothing is in walking distance, everything is far apart. The city is separated in several places by rivers and inlets and coves, and so to get from downtown to uptown or north or south you have to cross bridges and highways and it's a really odd layout. once you actually get downtown vancouver, it's mostly offices and cheap souvenirs, anyway. there's a few nice galleries, hair salons, boutiques, etc. the market is a 20 minute drive (if you have a car, longer with public transport). Oh but the art Gallery has the best name-Vancouver Art Gallery. Sounds normal now, but all the posters say "VAG." Heh. There are street busses, water busses, skytrain, etc, a great public transit system, but the city is so geographically all over the place it still takes hours to get anywhere! all this time i've been complaining about toronto's transit system sucking...well it does, but at least i can walk places!! and i miss the PATH. Toronto's military building means it's a city set up in a grid shape and SO EASY to navigate. I get lost all the time here. But this is nothing new, nor does it mean i don't like it here. I never liked Van much anyway tho. Just here looking for a job, eventually I'd rather be elsewhere in BC, either north or maybe the island. SO far I'm in North Vancouver, I can avoid the city centre and sit a little higher up the foothills where I'm right on the ocean and steps from the mountains. So I've started a daily routine. I spend the morning reading, then go kayaking or hiking. Then I come home and look for work and chill out some more. Eventually, I decide that I should go work on my suntan (which has gotten lovely). So i sit on the dock for a while reading and baking. When the seal annoys me (fishbreath really stinks) I go back inside to clean, launder, or whatever domestic/lifey chores I can find. Then i chill out and do nothing for the rest of the night, except maybe another kayak/hike, or motorboat ride, or walk into the tiny downtown of deep cove. Tomorrow I'm going to check out the deep cove library. Will probably update again tomorrow, wanted to talk about the book i'm reading. Good bye, my avid blog followers! (all, like, 2 of you... lol)

01 September 2012

moving day

today i arrived at deep cove, in north vancouver. i have a lot of work to do. i need to find a job, get settled in, get my bc drivers license and health card, &etc. already miss people from home, but it's so beautiful here! so i'm going to be lazy aaaalllll weekend long, and come tuesday start getting serious. i'm looking forward to a fresh start.

20 July 2012

peculiarities

has anyone ever noticed that i can't handle eating while a) wearing my hair down or b) wearing long sleeves? i used to yell at holden all the time for sitting too close to me while i was eating, so i've known for a while i have this weird bubble going on when i eat. but apparently this extends to my hair (too close to my face, must pin it back) and my sleeves (roll them up or take my sweater off) also. other than food time, i only have a bubble toward people who smell bad or creep me out. I swear im a very cuddly person! so what is wrong with me when it comes to food???

18 July 2012

lazy

some people say if they won the lotto they'd get a personal chef. that's silly, cooking is fun. what I would need is a personal grocery shopper. i'm so lazy, and someone needs to keep my shopping up to date, make sure things are thrown out when they go bad, and keep things prepped and in tupperware. then when i'm hungry i can just open the fridge and cook something up in a jiffy! i don't wanna walk to no grocery store!!

11 May 2012

peculiarities

oh my god, people, either shave your pubies or clean the toilet seat after yourself.

babies

can someone explain to me how we measure babies in our society? it's not very nice that they have to be called 'long.' they're people too! just 'cause they can't walk, they should still be allowed to be tall! and anyway, they aren't very long at all, so if we're discriminating here, we may as well go all the way and say they're 30 inches short. plus if you measure length, it implies that you have to measure width, too. your baby is 28'' long and 10'' wide. and that just paves the way to eating disorders. so if i ever have a baby, i will be fair to her (no way in hells i'm havin' me a boy) and allow her to walk tall. or at least lay there. tall-ly.

18 April 2012

Peculiarities

I do a lot of odd things, so i'm gonna have random posts now with the title 'peculiarities' when i feel like mentioning them/admitting to them, etc. So Today's is all about meat.

Now one thing I love is meat. Sausage, bacon, beef, steak, poultry...bbq it, roast it, boil it, i eat it.

Maybe this stems from my love of animals, or my previous attempt at vegetarianism (which would have lasted out of the love of animals thing, but my iron levels were way too low and the pills made me constipated which sucked, and so meat won out.) but whatever the reason, i cannot mix my meats.

Some of you love your burgers with bacon, or your turducken, or whatever, but for me, one meat at a time, please.

1) This does not apply to animal bi-products. Bacon and eggs work fine, even though its piggy and chicken. Likewise, turkey sammiches with cheese and mayo. That's turkey, cow, and chicken.

2) Sometimes I can have soup and a sammich, ex. Tomato soup with a beef stock followed by a chicken sammich.

3) Pizza can also have one meat only. Pepperoni OR chicken OR bacon.

4) Don't be greedy on holidays. We had ham and duck for easter, but one at a time! Have duck now and have ham (which is easy for me to cut out, i hate it) for left-overs.

So the thing is, I guess, if I'm eating poor defensive animals then I might as well try to be somewhat civil about it. One dead animal per plate, please.

17 April 2012

Around the House

Just did some painting and had to stop again coz i need another drop cloth. wet paint on my fingers, and...i swear i was scratching my nose, not picking it!

lots of spiders waking up and they are all over the house. Daddy, you really need to clean the vacuum out so i can use it already! Suck up those buggers!

Working tomorrow, friday and saturday...still haven't won the lottery, so still don't have a weekend. sigh.

I have some laundry to do also, and start getting my stuff cleaned up and organized. I just want to be lazy!

Cuddly digestive system

You may have seen this on my facebook page but im putting it here too coz of how funny it is. Scroll down and watch the video too. priceless!!!


http://www.shoppingblog.com/blog/8181010

09 April 2012

Moody

It's funny how people who know me really well try to put up with me being moody. They shortly realize I'm not going to get any nicer and happier, and finally they get to the root of the problem: "Jackie, I think you need to eat something." not just me!

http://www.minddisorders.com/Kau-Nu/Nutrition-and-mental-health.html#b

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/12/01/fashion/thursdaystyles/01FOOD.html?pagewanted=all

03 April 2012

Songs I Never Got as a Kid

1) "Shoo Fly." Until my youth, maybe even teenagerhood, I always wondered what a shoe fly was.

2) "Oh, Dear, What Can the Matter Be?" Again, until my youth, I wondered about the elusive lava-tree, and how seven old ladies managed to get stuck in it.

3) "Frere Jaques" went something like this until I learned French: "fraira jaqua, dormez vous, sonna mede tina, ding dang dong."

28 March 2012

Moving

Moving soon..my parents are cleaning and painting, getting the house ready for renting out and moving out. They are sorting through years worth of things. Our last move, my brother and I were still young enough not to want to let go of childhood toys, and the ones we kept are still around, and being sorted through now. I have barbie dolls, batman toys, star trek next gen toys, ninja turtles, smurfs...some of it I would still like to keep, however. I wonder what my brother will say when he finds out the Lego is actually mine and not his...Muahahaha. Also, i won the N64, which is shared between us, in rock paper scissors. And my dad's NES (which i need to figure out how to fix.)

The parents are also going through a wedding box. They just threw out their cake topper (why they kept it i dont know) and are talking about something called a scapula, and wedding invitations. When you sort through your life, how do you decide what's worth keeping? Really it's just STUFF. items. Material goods. But some of it you still decide is worth keeping, something you like as a memento. It's just odd letting go of something you kept for so long, even though you never looked at it, but kept it in a box or a drawer.

I just threw away all my love letters from high school. I kept them all becuse they were so cute. I would have kept them still but figured some of my hs boyfriends may not be so pleased that they are still around haha. It was hard, too, because bf's don't write me love letters anymore, not like they used to. Life was so much easier when we sat around taking notes in class and weren't paying attention but sketching and writing to each other instead. You can't tune out your undergrad or gradschool profs or you're in trouble!

Anyway gotta go through my old VHS tapes and toys now, get stuff ready for selling/donating/garbage. adventure to the past!

18 March 2012

school

While applying for OSAP (student loan), I am realizing that Canada sucks. Nordic countries, some EU countries, and some South American countries have free post-secondary school. Canada has cheaper tuition than some countries, but still too much. I want to move to Norway and have free school! How awesome would that be?!!! Plus, people there are probably less dumb 'cause they're more inclined to go to school.

14 March 2012

salsa

dear neal brothers,
your habanero salsa makes tears come out of my eyes and my nose run.

11 March 2012

Afghanistan

Just recently Obama had to take responsibility for the apparently accidental koran burnings in afghanistan. now a soldier with a so-called recent mental breakdown goes on a shooting rampage and kills civ's and children? they better do something soon or they're in big trouble, the locals already hate the US more than ever before. conspiracy theorists are gonna have a field day.

10 March 2012

Time to grow up, Jackie

Have you ever noticed that everything big happens all at one time? So for me, it's time to grow up, and fast. The bf and I are no longer together, my parents are up and moving to Vancouver, and I'm still at the stage in life where you're like "um, can everyone please just revolve around me for a while still? 'cause I have no idea what to do right now and was enjoying the comfort of nothing changing." So now what? Yikes! I mean nothing would be more awesome than going to Van, but shouldn't I be responsible and do more school first? and school is great and all, but now that I have nothing holding me to one spot shouldn't I take the opportunity and have an adventure? And if I stay where do I live? and if i go, where do I work? There's only one solution. Cookies.

07 March 2012

Zombies

In case of a zombie attacks, the apocalypse, 2012, or natural disasters leading to the decimation of the human race, i hope you will follow me to safety. Central ontario is on the canadian shield. This is beneficial because there are few people living in most of it, there are no volcanoes, we are too far from the ocean for hurricanes, flood, and tsunami activity to effect us, and because of the winter temperatures we will remain isolated (this is important in case of war and zombie-ism being contagious). The land is abundant in natural resources like fresh water and forest, and lots of animals and plants are available for eating. Also, pollution levels that far from cities are low, so you can actually drink the fresh water. Unless you have a better idea, please keep this in mind. Also, please do not become a zombie and attack me or i will have to kill you. that would suck.

28 February 2012

Home Again

Back in sunny Canada. Vacation was much fun, the heat was difficult, but want to go back again. Locals were big into getting your money and hassled us a bit to buy this or that, either by being aggressive or trying to invoke our pity at their poverty. It really got annoying. The ocean was beautiful, probably what i'll miss the most, and the jungle. And suntanning. And not having to work--although surprisingly i missed all my coworkers. You get used to talking to a couple people every day for 7 straight hours about everything under the stars and when they're not around its like something's missing.

I have to start writing letters and stuff to government people. While we were away, we often saw police or army people in big trucks with their FX-05 Xiuhcoatl's. Now, maybe it's a northern North American thing, but that is really freakin scary. When I was in Paris there were army men walking around with AK's under the Eiffel Tower. What?! There is no reason to be carrying around guns that big off base. People were telling us stories too, in Mexico, about the regular police and how corrupt they are. And we don't really have that here either. Of course there;s always corrupt officers but it's not standard, and it's not accepted. I guess the thing is that since everything looks so peaceful on the surface here, we don't really bother protesting things or voicing our opinions. Everyone is completely apathetic about new laws and political changes. At least in the USA the republicans try and make everyone do things through fear, of terrorism, of losing their rights, of injustice, of war. But even still, no one even votes anymore. Does our army have to start carrying AK's around before we wake up a little? Does the fear tactic that's spreading north of our border mean we'll wake up, or just fall in the trap too? Really, we don't even need to write letters these days, just emails. It takes 3 seconds. So from now on, whenever something happens in the government that I think infringes on my rights or freedoms or general good sense, I will send a line off to my MP or whoever else might read it, so that at least I'm being heard. Because we have it really good here, but that doesn't mean it's good enough.

11 February 2012

Eco-terrorism in Canada

To my young Canadian friends, our rights to free speech are shrinking. If we try to protest the pipeline, we can now be CHARGED AS TERRORISTS in an act that groups us with WHITE SUPREMACY. In my head, terrorism means threatening to and actually harming or killing people in the name of a cause. Apparently, eco-extremists (or whoever the harper gov. labels as such) also plan attacks to kill people. So, my friends, we can shut our mouths and behave, or act according to our age and protest such infringements to our rights and harm being dealt the first nations territories and the environment we will inherit. But this time, WE ARE THE TERRORISTS, because harper really really wants his PIPELINE.

08 February 2012

Vacation

6 days from now, i will not be sitting at my computer in Canada, but on a warm sandy beach in Mexico. I just wanted to rub that in.

02 February 2012

Chemtrails

Oh, you guys, this is incredible! People actually believe that contrails, or exhaust from planes, has chemicals put there by the government to brainwash people! Jamie and I were talking about it at work, the wacky things people believe. Do people not understand that as a single person, they are one in millions, and really too insignificant for anyone to care about? For example, the government doesn't care about me or really know that i exist (as long as i don't owe them money) so i'm confident that neither they or big corporations are putting brainwashing juice in, say, my breakfast cereal.

conspiracy theories are the greatest! How exciting! I need to come up with one! it needs to be complex, crazy, be based on actual occurrences , and completely viable at the same time. See if it catches on, you know? any ideas?

World Ends 2012

81 Dolphins die at Cape Cod in January. Dolphins stranded yearly on average are 120.
http://www.cnn.com/2012/02/01/us/massachusetts-dead-dolphins/index.html

Cold Weather Front hits Eastern Europe plaguing Russia with heavy snows and stretching all the way to Greece and Hungary.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/feb/01/extreme-cold-weather-eastern-europe?newsfeed=true

Meanwhile, temperatures are still above 0c in Southern Ontario where we have no snow, and Texas and Florida have no water. http://www.nasa.gov/topics/earth/features/cloud-spike.html. Parts of S Africa (Kruger Park) washed away in heavy rains.

Cyclone Funso hit Mozambique recently, after cyclone thane devastated parts of india.

The sounds of the Apocalypse have been heard from space. This is the End of the World. Are you convinced yet? are ya? are ya? huh? well check out http://endtimesrevelations.wordpress.com/ for other super fantastic theories including the end of the world, what all these natural disasters mean, conspiracies, ufo news, information about what satan is up to, and most of all, how to find salvation in the face of our upcoming doom as a species. it is really really a funny way to look at all the facts.

If you're actually concerned about the weather, allow me to direct you to some more educated responses:
El nina:
http://www.nasa.gov/topics/earth/features/lanina20120118.html

Global Warming/Greenhouse Effect:
http://www.nasa.gov/topics/earth/features/2011-temps.html

Oceans storing heat:
http://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/NPP/news/missing-energy.html

But really now, which is more fun, huh? Doomsday theories or nasa facts? I'll pick the end of times revelations any day! sometimes you just need a laugh, like watching fox news!

28 January 2012

Question

When dealing with red jello, i put cherry flavour on the one end (my least favourite) and raspberry jello on the other end (my most favourite). We have lots of jello at home, so I made cherry to get rid of it so that we won't have any and now we only have good jello's left. (Sorry all you cherry fans, I don't dislike it, i just prefer strawberry, and raspberries kick every other fruits butt.) (Except maybe passionfruit. That's really yummy too.) (And sometimes guava.)

But RED JELLO is the topic of today's question, so back to that. I only really mentioned flavour on the off-chance that cherry is bizarre. I shall let you know once i make the next berry jello, which will be strawberry, so that i can save the best for last (raspberry). (In case you missed that.)

Anyway the point was that I MADE CHERRY JELLO. Oh, it's also Jello Brand, if that matters to any of you doing your jello experiments in the future. And it's the no sugar kind, it's got the fake sweeteners. Maybe those are to blame. Just mentioning this to be specific, you know, for you science types out there. Or in case you wonder what kind of jello my mum buys me when there's a jello sale. I know some people really like to know every aspect about my jello eating habits so that they can emulate them and be as cool as me. But in this case i'm being less cool, eating cherry flavour and all that.

As I was saying about my CHERRY JELLO. I swear, i'm getting there. Wait, i'm lost. Oh yah. Jello. Cherry. And i made it. Okay. So i made this cherry jello, and poured it into different size cups (you know, some people want lots of jello, and others just a bit, so i decided on glass size variations to accommodate for everyone's jello portion preference, as I can be very thoughtful like that. So now you've got these cups full (or half full, for those only wanting a smidgin) of cherry jello. Now, to be heaLthy, I like to put fruit into my jello so that i don't feel bad about eating it all. (Note to parents: To be fair, I made it TWO DAYS AGO! It's not my fault it's all gone, you had plenty of time to eat some!)

Finally, this brings about my question: Oh wait. I forgot to tell you about the fruit. I put RASPBERRIES into the jello. We didn't have any cherries, so i couldn't use those. Oh, and they were frozen raspberries. Okay so my question: Why is it that now, when I eat my CHERRY FLAVOURED, ARTIFICIALLY SWEETENED, RASPBERRY SPRINKLED JELLO, that the raspberries have gone from raspberry coloured to a sickly, faded pale ghost of a raspberry colour? It's like they were bleached! what happen?

24 January 2012

Weather

Yesterday it was 7 degrees c, raining, and dark in Oakville/Burlington. Today it is -1 with light flurries. January's average high for Toronto is -2. Jan 1 this year was a Toronto record for warmest new years day at 12 degrees. But don't worry, fellow Canadian's, with Stephen Harper in charge, Canada is making great environmental changes, like cleaner oil sands.

18 January 2012

A Letter on Tetanus

Dear Dr. von Behring,
Thank you for working toward and successfully discovering a vaccine for tetanus. I understand that you are long dead now, but you see, since your work, very little has been done to improve on your vaccine. Needles have gotten much smaller and cleaner, and they mix other vaccines in with the tetanus now, like for whooping cough. So I can't even imagine how painful the vaccination procedure would have been in your time, over 100 years ago, with those big huge glass syringes. But there is still a problem. I had my needle on monday, 2 1/2 days ago. My arm still hurts. Do you see the problem? Since your demise, no one has cared to improve the world of vaccines. Getting a needle is a little medieval. Hurting my arm for the greater good (stopping the spread of diseases through vaccination) is super uncool.

In a nutshell, sir, you have to come back. We need someone inventive and knowledgable to find a different way to administer the vaccine. Say, a patch, or pill, or strawberry flavoured chewing gum.

I hope life beyond the grave is restful, but surely a man of your intelligence must be bored of being dead for so long, and can see the urgent need we have of you; that is to save us from tetanus shots. It really is your responsibility, seeing as you made us get them in the first place. I sincerely hope this message resonates with you enough to assist in your return to life.

See you soon,

Jackie

17 January 2012

Hugo, or I Don't Like 3D Films

Today I did not work. Isn't that lovely?

My bf came to see Hugo with me in the theatres, which made me very happy. I enjoyed it, but it is yet another movie that didn't have to be in 3D. I do not like 3D movies because they are pointless and make me dizzy when the camera pans. It was, however, the first 3D movie i have seen since my laser eye surgery. I have very little foresight, so before this, all the 3D movies involved me wearing the 3D glasses over my own pair of glasses, as I never thought to put in contact lenses before hand. In that respect, this viewing was much more comfortable; but still silly. I really hope this 3D thing is just a fad. I like 2D. People should not jump out of the screen because people do not jump out of real life. Plus, part of the point of motion pictures is to appreciate to artistry of the shot, which you are distracted from when a person is walking toward you out of the screen. Also, they only come out of the movie screen like they are shot in the movie, which is often only a head and torso shot. What, I ask, is the point of a head and torso floating out of the screen? Until they can holographically insert legs and have the actor walking ON HIS/HER LEGS through out of the movie and right past you through the theatre, let me enjoy my 2D!

Otherwise, the movie was fun, with a bit of history thrown in, some doggies, ben kingsley, sacha baron cohen, and clocks and trains. Some parts were a little slow, but I liked it overall.

12 January 2012

Welcome

Restarting my blog, so you can check up for updates whenever you like. The focus of this page is me. It will now include little stories, anecdotes, notes about my day, some thoughts or rants. I figure i can keep you updated about me, and hope to entertain you at the same time. <3 i heart you