Dear Dr. von Behring,
Thank you for working toward and successfully discovering a vaccine for tetanus. I understand that you are long dead now, but you see, since your work, very little has been done to improve on your vaccine. Needles have gotten much smaller and cleaner, and they mix other vaccines in with the tetanus now, like for whooping cough. So I can't even imagine how painful the vaccination procedure would have been in your time, over 100 years ago, with those big huge glass syringes. But there is still a problem. I had my needle on monday, 2 1/2 days ago. My arm still hurts. Do you see the problem? Since your demise, no one has cared to improve the world of vaccines. Getting a needle is a little medieval. Hurting my arm for the greater good (stopping the spread of diseases through vaccination) is super uncool.
In a nutshell, sir, you have to come back. We need someone inventive and knowledgable to find a different way to administer the vaccine. Say, a patch, or pill, or strawberry flavoured chewing gum.
I hope life beyond the grave is restful, but surely a man of your intelligence must be bored of being dead for so long, and can see the urgent need we have of you; that is to save us from tetanus shots. It really is your responsibility, seeing as you made us get them in the first place. I sincerely hope this message resonates with you enough to assist in your return to life.
See you soon,
Jackie
2 comments:
Behring ain't coming back anytime soon. He designed the vaccine to be painful. As evidence I need no more than the name of the vaccine. Tetanus. The first part of the name is tet, which is Head in an acient language. The remainder is anus, yet another ancient language signifying arsehole. put them together in english...this is why you may expect no relief from the good doctori.
Your friend Smeg.
thanks, daddy.
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