Dear people who wear shoes with individual toe space things,
1) You look like a knob.
2) Seriously. Giant door knob.
3) Your toes will probably get cold. Like how mittens are better than gloves because gloves let your fingers get cold.
4) Knob.
5) Is that even comfy?
6) Please just wear shoes. If you really want to feel special and gay, wear toe socks. Under your proper shoes.
7) I laugh to myself every time I see you step in a puddle and get your feet wet.
From, Jackie.
31 May 2013
13 May 2013
Dear Bacon,
You really piss me off when I'm trying to cook you and you keep folding over on yourself to prevent me from getting you all nice and crispy. I would appreciate any effort that you can make to stop this behaviour.
--Jack
--Jack
ONLY the Leafs...
...Can blow a 3 point lead in the last few minutes of a playoff game. UNimpressed.
06 May 2013
My Giant Poop (actually, that's all I'm talking about here)
I just had a dump. One of my poops was literally longer than one foot. I swear. I would have busted out the camera and measuring tape to post it on that poop website except that one end of it was partially down the back of the toilet and I don't want my measuring tape to get that close to my poop. I would guess it was between 1 and 1/4 and 1 and 1/3 of a foot long. It was probably the most incredible looking poop that I have ever had. Funny thing is my stomach still feels full. How does all that fit in me? No wonder I've been so bloated! Poo baby!
05 May 2013
Reading Star Wars
So I got meself a Kobo, figuring all the free books I can download on it will pay for it. So far that's already more than true, but now I want books that I can only dl from the internet or library and I haven't figured out the sync Kobo to Laptop thing yet. I dled the adobe e reader software, but that's it.
So I've read a bunch of classics, and got halfway through Utopia before I wanted something with spaceships in it, and there are some ebooks on the Kobo free book site that are about "the lost tribe of the sith" that I got into. Finished that pretty quickly before thinking I should read more! So now I got Starwars the Trilogy borrowed from work, New Hope to Return. So far I'm only where Luke buys Artoo and See Threepio, but it's okay. Figured it would be the same as the movies since it was written after, only I'd get more detail out of it. There we go, reading smart books and classics for too long and I need a break I guess.
Also read the latest Dresden novel, that was exciting! The formula is getting a little...well...formulaic, though. I can't tell you what will happen in each book before reading it, but I can tell you how it will happen in each book. They've all got the same way of building up to the final battle and quick wrap-up. Otherwise, i totally love those books. They make me laugh a lot.
Been writing a little bit too, was thinking about maybe posting some stuff? I don't know tho, always a little shy about that. Anyway, Artoo's just run away from Luke's farm, so I'm gonna go read ^________^
So I've read a bunch of classics, and got halfway through Utopia before I wanted something with spaceships in it, and there are some ebooks on the Kobo free book site that are about "the lost tribe of the sith" that I got into. Finished that pretty quickly before thinking I should read more! So now I got Starwars the Trilogy borrowed from work, New Hope to Return. So far I'm only where Luke buys Artoo and See Threepio, but it's okay. Figured it would be the same as the movies since it was written after, only I'd get more detail out of it. There we go, reading smart books and classics for too long and I need a break I guess.
Also read the latest Dresden novel, that was exciting! The formula is getting a little...well...formulaic, though. I can't tell you what will happen in each book before reading it, but I can tell you how it will happen in each book. They've all got the same way of building up to the final battle and quick wrap-up. Otherwise, i totally love those books. They make me laugh a lot.
Been writing a little bit too, was thinking about maybe posting some stuff? I don't know tho, always a little shy about that. Anyway, Artoo's just run away from Luke's farm, so I'm gonna go read ^________^
Summer is Here!
So I know I already bragged about this on my fb and stuff, but, like, Summer is here in Vancouver. I'm really only enjoying this for 3 reasons: 1)I like the rain, but rain EVERY DAY FOR 6 MONTHS really started to get to me. Summer means the rainy season is finally done with! 2) I hate looking like a Canadian. When somebody can look at me and tell what country I'm from simply because I'm obviously too pale to live anywhere else in the world excepting maybe Greenland and Siberia, that is not fair. I prefer looking healthy and slightly bronze. Like a bronze statue of a goddess, as opposed to a marble one. Since I'm that pretty and all. (Note: this is the kind of thing that I expect my avid readers to comment affirmatively on.) Reason no. 3) Obviously the last reason is bragging rights. Most of you guys are on the East Coast (that's right, B.Columbians think that Toronto is on the East Coast) where, as Kyle informed me earlier today, it is only 22 degrees out. (That's really odd, it shouldn't be that hot yet until June.) Not only is my temperature 6 degrees higher, but I live a few blocks away from a sandy beach on which I can frolic in my spare time. It also has a mountain view. And it's on an ocean. =)
Aside from that, you all know how much I hate the hot weather. It's all well and good when you can escape into the air conditioning later, but they don't seem to have that here, or at least it's not in use yet. Which drives me mad, I was up all night sweating. I hate sweating. I also hate not being able to sleep, but I can't ever sleep if I'm not a little bit cold. My house should ALWAYS be at the ideal 20.5/69 degrees. That is what I'm comfy in. It would be better if I could open the window, but Vancouverites don't seem to believe in the all important window screens, and I don't believe in inviting spiders and mosquitos into my abode, so we'll see how long I can hold out for. I give me two days before I give in to the elements and coat my window ledges in soap to keep the spiders out. Eric will also be home in a couple of weeks, which is good. It's important to live with a man. Women are less likely to kill spiders for you.
I'm excited to spend my summer with Eric this year. It's been a few years since we had a whole summer together. Of course I'll miss the rest of the crew, but it's nice to have at least one old friend here. We used to get together with people like Colin, J.C. and Brian and go to the drum circles in Trinity Bellwoods Park, or just hang out with some beers. Gotta see if the hippies in BC have drum circles in the summer, those were good times. One of my favourites was the year of the many thunderstorms when the park got flooded and they had a drum circle anyway, and half of it was knee deep in water. Luckily the park was pretty clean and nobody seemed to step in any broken glass or anything under that water, it could have been dangerous, but it was just plain fun.
Other news is I'll be home for a visit in July! I'll let you know the dates when I get them, only about 2 or 3 days I'm afraid. But I miss everybody! I'll be spending a week in Boston too, visiting the parental units and canine. I'm pretty excited because I miss them and have never seen Boston before! I'll cut this off here before it gets so lengthy that it deters everyone from reading it!
xoxoxo
Aside from that, you all know how much I hate the hot weather. It's all well and good when you can escape into the air conditioning later, but they don't seem to have that here, or at least it's not in use yet. Which drives me mad, I was up all night sweating. I hate sweating. I also hate not being able to sleep, but I can't ever sleep if I'm not a little bit cold. My house should ALWAYS be at the ideal 20.5/69 degrees. That is what I'm comfy in. It would be better if I could open the window, but Vancouverites don't seem to believe in the all important window screens, and I don't believe in inviting spiders and mosquitos into my abode, so we'll see how long I can hold out for. I give me two days before I give in to the elements and coat my window ledges in soap to keep the spiders out. Eric will also be home in a couple of weeks, which is good. It's important to live with a man. Women are less likely to kill spiders for you.
I'm excited to spend my summer with Eric this year. It's been a few years since we had a whole summer together. Of course I'll miss the rest of the crew, but it's nice to have at least one old friend here. We used to get together with people like Colin, J.C. and Brian and go to the drum circles in Trinity Bellwoods Park, or just hang out with some beers. Gotta see if the hippies in BC have drum circles in the summer, those were good times. One of my favourites was the year of the many thunderstorms when the park got flooded and they had a drum circle anyway, and half of it was knee deep in water. Luckily the park was pretty clean and nobody seemed to step in any broken glass or anything under that water, it could have been dangerous, but it was just plain fun.
Other news is I'll be home for a visit in July! I'll let you know the dates when I get them, only about 2 or 3 days I'm afraid. But I miss everybody! I'll be spending a week in Boston too, visiting the parental units and canine. I'm pretty excited because I miss them and have never seen Boston before! I'll cut this off here before it gets so lengthy that it deters everyone from reading it!
xoxoxo
03 May 2013
Wedding Bells are Ringing!
HAPPY WEDDING DAY TO JOHN KAY AND STEPHANIE...uhm...well...it's Kay now, so phew guess it's okay to forget! I wish you all the joys life might carry for a married couple, whatever those are. Dogs, kids, houses, that kinda thing. Sounds tedious! :p Love you John!
Purple Dragon Don Jitsu Ryu
I am a purple dragon student! I have a white belt! (I'm a bottom-feeder!) It's super fun! Except that I can't seem to summersault in a straight line. And my thighs hurt a ton. Like, a TON. Like, I'm walking and afraid they might stop working all together and I'll collapse hurt a ton. The etiquette is hard to get used to. Bowing at all the higher ups, bowing at the floor every time you get on or off of it, bowing several times just to get in the front door. Every time you bow you say "Ush." After nobody could explain this to me and I knew it wasn't the Japanese word for "yes" as they claimed, I googled it. It seems to be a bastardization of the word "osu," or "os" as the 'u' is often silent on the end of Japanese words. One internet source says: " When you enter or leave the dojo, you bow and say "Osu". When you greet a fellow Kyokushin Karateka 空手家, you say "Osu" instead of "hello". When you respond to an instruction or question in class, you say "Osu" instead of "yes" or "I understand". When performing Kihon Waza 基本技 (basic techniques) in class, each technique is often accompanied with a loud "Osu". When practicing Jiyu Kumite 自由組手 (free fighting) in class and your opponent lands a good, hard technique, you say "Osu" to acknowledge your opponent's skill. As a measure of respect, knockdown fighters at a tournament bow and say "Osu" to the front, to the referee and to each other, before and after the fight." (http://www.uskyokushin.com/osu.htm) Another has a similar explanation: "In Japanese the word oss is written as a two-character combination. The first character means “to push,” and the second means “to suffer.” Together they symbolize the importance of pushing, striving and persevering while suffering through whatever difficulties, pains and hindrances are encountered along the way. So, at the literal level, oss is simply an affirmation of the positive attitude, high spirits and refusal to quit that all karate people seek to develop as they train. On a deeper and more general level it might be translated as “keep the faith,” in the sense of karate philosophy and goals. " (http://www.minrec.org/wilson/pdfs/Language%20-%20The%20'oss'%20greeting.pdf)
So basically, every time I walk in the door I have to say "ush professor (his style everyone is learning, runs everything), ush shihans (seconds-in-command), ush sensei (owns/runs individual dojo), ush senpai (sensei's second), ush instructors, and ush san, bowing each time. I hate this, too. First of all, professor in Japanese is kyoju, and hanshi is grand master, so why is he called professor? and why are the black belts called instructor? Can we stick to one language maybe? pet peeve. Other than silly things like that, I really do like it. Even though it makes me work hard. I guess that's the point, a little hard work and discipline are good for me! So wish me luck while I try to ignore the mixing of languages and work my butt off for the yellow belt! Hopefully another month or so!
So basically, every time I walk in the door I have to say "ush professor (his style everyone is learning, runs everything), ush shihans (seconds-in-command), ush sensei (owns/runs individual dojo), ush senpai (sensei's second), ush instructors, and ush san, bowing each time. I hate this, too. First of all, professor in Japanese is kyoju, and hanshi is grand master, so why is he called professor? and why are the black belts called instructor? Can we stick to one language maybe? pet peeve. Other than silly things like that, I really do like it. Even though it makes me work hard. I guess that's the point, a little hard work and discipline are good for me! So wish me luck while I try to ignore the mixing of languages and work my butt off for the yellow belt! Hopefully another month or so!
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